The burning midday sun
        as it leans towards twilight
        withers my skin
        and makes my eyes squint

It calls the Red Beast
        that chews on my womb
        and makes me cry in pain
        in the lonely night

This hot needle
        that pierces my eyes
        and warps the lens
        so the world leans into me

I suffocate, smothered by the Nothing
        my empty screaming
        claws at the prison of my body
        waiting out my life sentence.

My open mouth
        catches the bitter drippings
        from the rejects that stagger carelessly
        into the line of my recless hunger

I feed
        and cast their empty wrappings
        but not without a backwards glance
        and cumulative regret
        that stifles like stale air

Winter is approaching
        and the sting of the coming darkness
        withers the flowers
        and the hope that life implies

I am repulsed by attraction

I don't need the needing

I think I will hold my sorrow underwater
        and fake impassiveness
        as it claws at my empty flesh
        lurching just before death.

My sorrow is my soul.

Without hunger,
        how can I eat?
 

1996